My helpers

My daily sacred work involves a lot of repetition. Diaper changes, packing lunches, teaching the ABCs... laundry in, laundry out. Dishes in, dishes out. It's so easy to morph into a grump and forget just why I do what I do.

Well, thank goodness that the very little ones whose hands could single-handedly dismantle the homeschool room in mere seconds are starting to enjoy assisting me with the aforementioned duties. It's really fun to do things together.

Case in point: dishes!

After I remove knives and chopsticks, Alyssa slowly empties the utensil caddy in the dishwasher and hands the utensils to Abigail.

Little Alyssa gets a bit pushy at times, as if she's the one in charge.

"Ah dunnnnn (all done)," she declares.

While they're busy with the utensils, I quickly put everything else away. It keeps them occupied and focused, which equates to a good routine. They feel so empowered by this small thing too.

I'm glad they're so helpful - there will be a bit more to do once the baby comes!

Great reminder

It's easy to lose the way sometimes... thinking that a parent's chief role is to get a child to the best college --> to get the best career --> to make lots of money. I am totally guilty of this myopia.

This dad in the following video remembered to shepherd his daughter's HEART.



I needed this - thank you.

More on purposeful parenting

I've been meaning to share this "Children See, Children Do" video on parenting for a long time. Each time I watch it, I am moved by just how much good (or bad) we can impart in our children. Take a look and let me know what you think. It's pretty raw, so here's a little disclaimer:



Thanks to Kathleen for unearthing this powerful video for me!

Big sister Amanda

This is the "fortune" that Amanda received from our Friday night meal. It marks the first time we heard her read off the entire message without asking for help. In astonishment I looked up from scarfing down my own fortune cookie, studying her winsome eyes. The funny thing is, I don't think I've really stopped to see this sweet gem of a girl in her entirety in a long time.

Is this invisibility the unnecessary price a little girl pays when she is a big sister?


This sweet girl with the broad, earnest smile is a pretty terrific big sister.


She loves sitting in the wagon with Abigail, watching the world together...


and leads her to endless adventures.

The problem is, she is too good at being the big sister. She even likes to act the part of a personal assistant at times, and a part-time nanny. She wants to write out the shopping list, and reads off the prices of products while grocery shopping. And she loves almost all the things I love. To this stay-at-home mom that sometimes lacks adult company, she is often times a good girlfriend!

I myself am the oldest. Of four children. And yet I often forget the weight of being the oldest. She is only five years old, remember? Let her be a child.

Note to self: parent with PURPOSE. Don't let the teachable, nurturable moments slip through the fingers because of self-serving reasons. Don't forget how precious this job is. And don't forget how precious your sweet eldest daughter is.

Stepping back to really see my children

At times I get so caught up in the minutiae of being a mother that I forget who I'm mothering. What is the reason for my effort? I catch myself saying, "Hurry, hurry, hurry!" to be on time to an event I signed my children up for, FOR THEIR ENRICHMENT... I fret over a mismatched outfit that Amanda proudly and independently put together... I furrow my brow when the girls aren't compliant and exert their own minds. The thing that made me cringe the most was this callous thought: "I can't wait until Abigail turns 13 months so I can stop nursing and have the freedom to really do the things I want to do."

I say I'd lay down my life for them, yet I don't hold sacred the work of building them up - I've been gifted these girls, and I am in charge of their nutritional, mental, intellectual, emotional well being.

So, it is time to step back. See who my children really are. Look in their eyes to feel their souls, connect with their dreams, tell them I love them without opening my mouth... the sheer strength of my emotion chokes the words in my throat. I love them so much, and they deserve a mom who is purposeful, thoughtful, proactive in her relationship to them.

I pray for clarity, for a strong vision to lead these precious daughters, so that I may be a worthy steward. I want to share their journey with great joy.

On parenting - imparting roots and wings

Parenting: an obligation or joy? Depends on how we approach it. Here are some of my favorite quotes on parenting:

.......
"It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself."

- Joyce Maynard

.......
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much."

- Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

.......
"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.

- Hodding Carter

.......
Consider the magnitude of the last quote. Nurturing the growth of ROOTS and WINGS is a deep, spiritual, mental, physical process, and it takes blood, sweat, and tears to cultivate. But the rewards - ! If my children can be the people they are meant to be - with all the potential talents, dreams, visions realized - that is the idea of success. Not how much money they can make or how famous they become. I hope my children will turn to me some day and say, "You weren't the perfect mom, but you tried to be the best mom you could be. I learned from you."

Thank goodness I don't parent alone - Ron is the best sidekick I could have asked for.

Look what I found among the pointsettia - a Panda!

And Ron and his Mini-me:

(click on photos for larger images)

I love my family. So much.